W3Wizardry Bogus News

By Jacob Schaer, Associated Press Writer Fri Nov 2, 9:12 PM ET

Richmond, Va. -It was normal day for John Doe as he went to work today at Cisco Communication?s headquarters in Richmond Va. As a networking expert, his project for the past several weeks had been to design a new, more efficient, way to route data between the technology giant?s two mainframe computers. Coworkers say that after debugging a trial scenario for this layout for a few hours, he abruptly left work claiming to suffer from a severe stomachache. Only a few hours later, he was found dead, hanging from the balcony of his mansion by a common Ethernet cable. Around the house were boxes and boxes of coaxial cable, phone lines, and power cords scattered apart as if his final act was to find the perfect cable with which to end his struggling. According to an internal investigation by Cisco?s own representatives, it is surprising that the cable held his weight at all. When asked about who he felt was responsible for this mans death, he refused to comment. Cisco?s manager Bob Jones claims that his company was in no way responsible for John?s suicide, and further states that corporate contracts allow them to subject their employees to very stressful situations without liability. A suicide note in the victims back pocket stated very plainly that he ?wasn?t sorry?, but that he would ?miss his girlfriend?. Apparently a neighbor heard him shouting from his house about 5 minutes before police arrived, saying what sounded like ?You?re wrong, there is no magic in networking!!!? Initial reports show that he had a high amount of alcohol in his system prior to death. More details to be found later.