W3Wizardry Bogus News

By Jacob Schaer, Associated Press Writer Saturday Nov 3, 9:12 PM ET

North Pole, Arctic. - One of the few cultural similarities between nearly all the countries of the world is the love of gift giving. In America, we find every excuse to spoil our children, so it?s no surprise that our largest holiday of the year is Christmas. At the heart of this holiday is a man known as Santa Clause. His shop of elves, and his famous annual ride across the world for delivering presents have made him a legend. However, all good things come to an end, and this is apparently no exception. In his summer press release, Santa announced that he will not be continuing his philanthropic tradition due to legality issues. In his speech, he referenced Microsoft as the primary source of his decision, though he said it wasn?t the only reason. Apparently, Bill Gates is suing the North Pole Association for using Linux based operating systems on his child management mainframe. He claims that a no competition clause hidden within a contract he made with Santa Clause in the late 1980?s states clearly that Microsoft has the sole right to the choice of Operating System?s on Santa?s computers. The lawsuit is scheduled for hearing next month, and the expected fine is presently $10 billion. Santa wanted to make it known that Linux is the way of the future, and hinted that if he ever did return to his gift giving, Bill Gates would be getting a load of coal in his stocking.